Why is America so polarized?

If someone is a Democrat, he's a far left coon or socialist; if someone is a Republican they are racists, anti-gay, etc. Is there a middle party because I am neither a socialist, coon, racist, or anti-gay, but I do want America to be fiscally responsible and civil. Can the US ever get back to that. By the way politicians are not like this to each other, they just do it for the media. I've done internships in congress and while they disagree, congressman and senators of opposite parties still go to lunch together and hang out with each others families, go to ball games, etc. Why can't the people be more like that.